jbiscuit
08-13-2004, 04:11 PM
7am. Its pretty clear out I notice as I button up my Rustler shirt. I finishing tieing my shoe laces and grab a crusty cookie from off the kitchen counter that has been sitting there for a good 3 or 4 months. Mmmmm. Crusty. I head out the back door and spin around Michael Jackson "Beat It" style...."HE HE....Owww!" Lock the door and I'm out, key in one mitt and garage door opener in the other. With a click of the thumb, the door raises skyward. I stand and watch it open and reach in deep for that morning phlem booger that I have been trying to get out all morning now but I can't seem to get a good grip on it. Its tough trying to get both a thumb and your index finger in your nostrel. It can be done....cuz I've done it. My skin must be stiff yet so early in the morning.
The door finishes opening and I give up on the booger quest. The wagon awaits.
I unlock the door with my keyless entry keyfob and climb in through the open window all Dukes of Hazard style. The Recaros feel nice. They hug my ass like a 300lb fat girl in spandex. I insert the cut metal stick with plastic on it into the slot and turn it to ON. Nothing, just a wierd Japanese annoying buzzer sound like what would come out of a toaster oven. Oops, forgot to step on the clutch. I turn it to ON. The Crocodile Dundee-sponsored race demon roars to life. Its loud and obnoxious in the garage cuz I like to start the car with my foot to the floor on the go pedal. It smacks the rev limiter, throws a SES light and sputters into limp mode. The knocking and pinging can be heard by 13 gangsters down the street and they come running cuz they think Marcus has been shot.
"You crazy mutha fuckah. You almost done got shot."
"Sorry dudes. Just me firing up the short bus....sorry homies."
"No doubt no doubt." and away they went.
I decide to give it another go. I turn the cut metal stick with plastic on it to ON again making sure my foot is on the clutch this time. It is and she fires. Still pinging, knocking and shaking like a 60's fueler. Out the garage I go. Making sure to hit the garage door opener button...but in this case its acting more like a garage door closer than a garage door opener. Thats a different venue.
Roll the car into the street & point the shifter to 1. It goes right in with a click. Not a Fast and Furious metal on metal click but more of a "oh yeah she's in there" click...
I step on the gas hard and let out the clutch. The car comes to life....turbo spooling, engine revving, tires searching for traction on the grass.....the car launches hard and smashes head on with the oncoming tree. He never signaled nor gave any indication he wasn't gonna get out of my way.
The radiator smokes and hisses a tad, the coolant temp gauge still reads "C" and the shifter still points to 1. The battery light is on and the tach needle points to - which is just below 1 (times a thousand though).
I get out an assess the damage. Some of the bark is missing but I think it will live.
The door finishes opening and I give up on the booger quest. The wagon awaits.
I unlock the door with my keyless entry keyfob and climb in through the open window all Dukes of Hazard style. The Recaros feel nice. They hug my ass like a 300lb fat girl in spandex. I insert the cut metal stick with plastic on it into the slot and turn it to ON. Nothing, just a wierd Japanese annoying buzzer sound like what would come out of a toaster oven. Oops, forgot to step on the clutch. I turn it to ON. The Crocodile Dundee-sponsored race demon roars to life. Its loud and obnoxious in the garage cuz I like to start the car with my foot to the floor on the go pedal. It smacks the rev limiter, throws a SES light and sputters into limp mode. The knocking and pinging can be heard by 13 gangsters down the street and they come running cuz they think Marcus has been shot.
"You crazy mutha fuckah. You almost done got shot."
"Sorry dudes. Just me firing up the short bus....sorry homies."
"No doubt no doubt." and away they went.
I decide to give it another go. I turn the cut metal stick with plastic on it to ON again making sure my foot is on the clutch this time. It is and she fires. Still pinging, knocking and shaking like a 60's fueler. Out the garage I go. Making sure to hit the garage door opener button...but in this case its acting more like a garage door closer than a garage door opener. Thats a different venue.
Roll the car into the street & point the shifter to 1. It goes right in with a click. Not a Fast and Furious metal on metal click but more of a "oh yeah she's in there" click...
I step on the gas hard and let out the clutch. The car comes to life....turbo spooling, engine revving, tires searching for traction on the grass.....the car launches hard and smashes head on with the oncoming tree. He never signaled nor gave any indication he wasn't gonna get out of my way.
The radiator smokes and hisses a tad, the coolant temp gauge still reads "C" and the shifter still points to 1. The battery light is on and the tach needle points to - which is just below 1 (times a thousand though).
I get out an assess the damage. Some of the bark is missing but I think it will live.