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07-06-2004, 03:34 PM
Don't usually post these much but this is pretty good if you haven't already seen it . . .
"Darwin Awards" are out for 2004..... Yes, these are all true. It's an
annual honor given to the IDIOT who did the gene pool the biggest
service by killing themselves in the most ordinarily stupid way. Last
year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which
toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out
of it.
And the nominees this year, in reverse order. are:
7. A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk
cheaply, because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed
gasoline with milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and
he vomited into the fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and
fire burned his house down killing both him and his sister.
6. A 34-year-old white male found dead in the basement of his
home died of suffocation, according to police. He was approximately 6'
2" tall and weighed 225 pounds. He was wearing a pleated skirt, white
bra, black and white saddle shoes, and a woman's wig. It appeared that
he was trying to create a schoolgirl's uniform look. He was also wearing
a military gas mask that had the filter canister removed and a rubber
hose attached in its place. The other end of the hose was connected to
the end of a hollow tube approx. 12" long and 3" in diameter. The tube's
other end was inserted into his rectum for reasons unknown, and was the
cause of his suffocation. Police found the task of explaining the
circumstances of his death to his family very awkward.
5. Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low
altitude when another plane approached. It appears that they decided to
moon the occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own
aircraft and crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with
their pants around their ankles.
4. A 22-year-old, Glade Drive, Reston, VA, man was found dead
after he tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70 foot
railroad trestle. Fairfax County police said Eric Barcia, a fast-food
worker, taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped one end around
one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park,
jumped and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said
investigators think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby.
"The length of the cord that he assembled was greater than the distance
between the trestle and the ground" Carmichael said. Police say the
apparent cause of death was "Major trauma."
continued . . .
"Darwin Awards" are out for 2004..... Yes, these are all true. It's an
annual honor given to the IDIOT who did the gene pool the biggest
service by killing themselves in the most ordinarily stupid way. Last
year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which
toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out
of it.
And the nominees this year, in reverse order. are:
7. A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk
cheaply, because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed
gasoline with milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and
he vomited into the fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and
fire burned his house down killing both him and his sister.
6. A 34-year-old white male found dead in the basement of his
home died of suffocation, according to police. He was approximately 6'
2" tall and weighed 225 pounds. He was wearing a pleated skirt, white
bra, black and white saddle shoes, and a woman's wig. It appeared that
he was trying to create a schoolgirl's uniform look. He was also wearing
a military gas mask that had the filter canister removed and a rubber
hose attached in its place. The other end of the hose was connected to
the end of a hollow tube approx. 12" long and 3" in diameter. The tube's
other end was inserted into his rectum for reasons unknown, and was the
cause of his suffocation. Police found the task of explaining the
circumstances of his death to his family very awkward.
5. Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low
altitude when another plane approached. It appears that they decided to
moon the occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own
aircraft and crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with
their pants around their ankles.
4. A 22-year-old, Glade Drive, Reston, VA, man was found dead
after he tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70 foot
railroad trestle. Fairfax County police said Eric Barcia, a fast-food
worker, taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped one end around
one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park,
jumped and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said
investigators think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby.
"The length of the cord that he assembled was greater than the distance
between the trestle and the ground" Carmichael said. Police say the
apparent cause of death was "Major trauma."
continued . . .