Crappy co-worker rant

[EvolvedRegal]

So Im getting to my last hair with my only co-worker. He has to be one of the most bitter people I have ever worked with. This has been going on for over 2 years.

A quick run down. He is about 60yo, ex-sailor and bible thumper along with being on a 25lb restriction. He can barly read, write and spell. Did I mention he hates my guts and the feeling is mutual. In our office that we share we have 1 computer that we write down all of the mainteance work that has been done to machine around the plant. I find errors all of the time and have ordered wrong parts (some cost $1k+) with the info he supplied to the machine.

I have had it with this guy. I wish there was some type of way to get him to leave but since he has been here for 15+ years it might be a bit hard. I do screw with him in a few ways:

Leave seat clamp loose
Replaced his bible with Dianetics
Move tools 1 ft away from where they should be
Changed the lock on his tool box
Re-keyed the shop lock

What Im looking for is just some other ideas to keep me sane. Remember this is a shop enviroment so let your ideas fly.

[Windsors 03 Cobra]

Grease zerk in the side of his toolbox and a 55 gallon barrel of grease with aro grease pump accidently stayed on all night.

Toolbox full of styrofoam peanuts and wrap welding cables around toolbax and turn into a magnetic nightmare.

Exchange start buttons for stop buttons.

[BoosTT]

Hot glue the computer mouse down (it can be removed without damage)

Change the keys on the keyboard around in a different order

"Fart spray" a chair or something he is often on.

Play some polka

label stuff with clearly wrong tags... the screw driver bin can be call pancakes

Replace the calender with a 2009 one

Find a old toliet and swap his office chair with it

[michelle]

That type of stuff goes on in factories?

I guess I am thankful I work at a middle school. :stare

[EvolvedRegal]

Hot glue the computer mouse down (it can be removed without damage)

Change the keys on the keyboard around in a different order

Replace the calender with a 2009 one



Thats what Im looking for. Excellent ideas.

Can laptop keys be popped off and then back on?

[EvolvedRegal]

OK got 2 keys changed, can you find them?

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b109/dryad001/01d44c2b.jpg

Still need to find a 2009 calender.

[03CVLX]

OLO!! That's pretty good. :D

[BoosTT]

Heat shrink some tools... always a classic

crickets in the office

wd40 on the handle of a hammer

take a screen shot of the desktop on the pc, then make that screen shot the desktop background and hide all the icons. He'll click on "an icon", but it won't do anything.

[BoosTT]

Heat shrink some tools... always a classic

crickets in the office

wd40 on the handle of a hammer

take a screen shot of the desktop on the pc, then make that screen shot the desktop background and hide all the icons. He'll click on "an icon", but it won't do anything.

Hole in neck of water bottle, so when it's tilted to drink from it spills on his shirt

Lid to anything (water bottle, ect) super glued closed.

A item added to his lunch (candy bar) that looks like a mouse took a bite of. Use a little screw driver to make rat prints. haha

[Prince Valiant]

I'd just leave him alone. I only mess with people I like...far more fun.

[EvolvedRegal]

a little hazing never hurt anybody

[Rocket Power]

take a screen shot of the desktop on the pc, then make that screen shot the desktop background and hide all the icons. He'll click on "an icon", but it won't do anything.
I had that done to me:rolf They also opened like 40 windows with the screen shot:rolf

[Yooformula]

take a screen shot of the desktop on the pc, then make that screen shot the desktop background and hide all the icons. He'll click on "an icon", but it won't do anything.

thats awesome:rolf

[BR3W CITY]

Lace his lunch with some ghb, he won't have a clue HOW he got himself fired.

[Holeshot]

You could always create a file with his name on it and load it with porn.

[Goat Roper]

Get NAMBLA literature sent to him at work

[84hurst]

Get NAMBLA literature sent to him at work

Wow... don't Google that one LOL! National association of man/boy lover something.

[Goat Roper]

Wow... don't Google that one LOL! National association of man/boy lover something.

Stay put, Chris Matthews will be there shortly.

[lordairgtar]

Put the Book of Mormon, The Bahgvadgita (Hindu scriptures), a buddhist prayer bead set on your desk and just keep repeating Nam Yo Ho Rengye Kyo over and over again during breaks. Also light incense during this time. The following week, acquire Wiccan stuff like pentagrams, candles and some dark purple velvet cloth to put over your desk. On the third week, acquire Scientology stuff, the fourth week you can acquire some Jehova's Witness literature to place on your desk. Make sure he sees all the stuff. On the fifth week...full on Satanist stuff with skulls, goat's heads, black candles and play some real obscure Norwegian Death Metal. He'll leave the building.

[Sprayaway Fox]

Dig a big hole and put leaves on top. :goof

[EvolvedRegal]

UPDATE:

Yesterday he was typing away on the computer.... we might need a new laptop.

Next up is the desktop/wallpaper idea.

[Red97GTP]

Stay put, Chris Matthews will be there shortly.

I think you mean Chris Hansen, if you're referring to "To Catch A Predator."

[Goat Roper]

I think you mean Chris Hansen, if you're referring to "To Catch A Predator."

lmao, you are very correct, Chris Matthews showing up will give you Obama Fever

[EvolvedRegal]

Alrighty, we did get a new laptop for our shop, just came in today.

I think this time Im going to change the B and G letters. Seems like they mount the same as the last one. Just need the IT guy to get out of there...

[Silver86]

in for the updates :rolf

[PonyKiller87]

Get a wireless door bell from the hardware store. Hide the bell part in a kleenex box or something on his desk, ring the bell when ever he does something like when ever he sits down or when ever he grabs the computer mouse... He will think its connected somehow and spend a ton of time trying to figure it out. More fun when you get other people in on it, you can hand off the button, lol.

[hrsp]

hahahahahahah this is awesome!!

[Silver86]

could go to thinkgeek.com

theyve got a few small electronic annoyance devices that you could purchase and plant around the shop.