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View Full Version : Pre-ride check list for Harley Riders



pOrk
11-06-2009, 10:49 AM
1. Comb baseball player goatee and mustache
2. Spend 6- hours polishing gaudy chrome pieces. Be sure people can read the �Live to ride�ride to live� statement on gas tank lid.
3. Assure suspension can handle at least 560 pounds of rider
4. Pack cell phone and have tow service numbers programmed.
5. Look in mirror and perfect the �I�m a bad ass motherfucker� harley riding scowl.
6. Affix tassels from daughters bicycle to handle bars for added gay appearance.
7. Test flashers for when bike breaks down (99% probability)
8. Put on your wrist brace to help carpal tunnel from all of the unnecessary revving
9. Leather pants
10. Gloves
11. Wrap around sunglasses
12. Skull cap (German soldier type for the real badasses). Remember to think about the SAFETY aspect/argument of loud pipes as putting that potato chip on head. The real tough guys here will wear a bandana over their face (some with a skull) to look really scary----ooooh!
13. CAT work boots (new)
14. Leather vest with some �chapter� like: North chapter of pig fucking obese attention whore douche bags with fat ugly loud mouth wives.
15. HD t-shirt (of course). Because everyone needs to know what shop you paid $40 for a $5 hanes shirt at.
16. Remove baffles from pipes so EVERYONE can hear you going 18mph in 2nd gear at redline. Note: Most HD break down before hitting 2nd gear.
17. Starbucks gift card: This is usually your hangout--------------how tough.
18. Call friends with similar ridiculous motorcycle (WW2 outdated technology garbage) and pathetic store bought image (gay pirate from the Castro) attire. Have them ATTEMPT to meet you at the starbucks without breaking down or crashing due to being distracted from looking at themselves in their chrome.
19. Five packs of Marlboro reds to smoke while riding to look extra cool
20. Slam a 6 pack of Zima prior to ride.
21. Saddle bags attached to pick up and store broken parts that fall off bike as you ride/push (if you can call it riding without laughing) that hunk of shit down the road.

deuceWI
11-06-2009, 11:19 AM
:rolf

Have you seen the latest South Park episode? ? ? It's exactly like your list but in cartoon episode form.

Watch online @ www.southparkstudios.com

JaMichaels
11-06-2009, 06:56 PM
:rolleyes: Some butt hurt crotch rocket lover made this because couldn't afford the sticker of an American brand bike.. sigh..

Lets compare..

1. Put on full faced helmet because you're sure to go down while impressing chics.

2. Spend 6 hours telling your friends how you wheelied for a mile or hit the revlimiter on I94 in 6th gear.

3. Assure the front fork seals are not pissing oil from doing wheelies. The wrong way.

4. Pack cell phone and have YouTube videos of GhostRider available

5. Remove mirrors for cleaner shaven look

6. Put as many racing decals on bike as possible

7. Remove blinkers

8. Prepare to rev at every vehicle you see

9. Designer jeans

10. Name brand shoes

11. Mp3 player

12. If not wearing helmet, gel your hair straight up so tight that even 100mph can't touch it, then don a pair of Oakleys, the multi-colored type.

13. ADDIDAS running shoes, from 1996

14. Match jacket color to bike, helmet, ring, sunglasses, shoes, jeans, jewelry, etc.

15. Honda/Kawa/Suzi Racing gear, make sure everyone knows youre prepared to race. (Speaking of, I bet less than 10% of the people toting (FILL-IN) Racing gear, has ever watched a motorcycle racing event..)

16. Remove rear license plate from appropriate location and descretly bend it into a less visible area. Cuts down on the police calls when youre weaving through traffic.

17. Check odometer, if near 20k miles post for sale on Craigslist because you'll be damned if it makes it past that.

18. Call a friend, end up with 89 others because the only reason why they bought a bike was to ride with their friend, who bought one to ride with their friend, who in turn did the same, who then also... well, yea.

19. God I am bored of this.. lol

Harley riders have their group of whack jobs as do the Rocket riders..

But I own a Harley, and not a single one of those stereotypes do I partake in..

http://hphotos-snc1.fbcdn.net/hs081.snc1/4543_199831730141_667045141_7101503_6801724_n.jpg

http://hphotos-snc1.fbcdn.net/hs081.snc1/4543_199831755141_667045141_7101508_6584418_n.jpg


I love all bikes for all sorts of reasons... Which one out of here would you take, g/f not included....

SSScottSS
11-06-2009, 08:46 PM
I would take the sports bike. Im all for American made, but I just cant get into the Harley scene. I was just thinking to myself before reading this post, that the only good thing about winter is no more excessively annoying Harleys with loud pipes. I think they ALMOST make the fart cans on the Civics sound good in comparison.

GTSLOW
11-06-2009, 08:56 PM
I've got nothing against them except when the moron floors it in 1st at redline going past my car with the windows down. It either:

A) Scares the shit out of me

B) Pisses me off to the point that I want to swerve over and take the guy out


Don't get me wrong they all aren't like this but this scenario happens many times every summer.

Cleveland Dave
11-07-2009, 01:07 AM
:rolf

Have you seen the latest South Park episode? ? ? It's exactly like your list but in cartoon episode form.

Watch online @ www.southparkstudios.com

HUB-BRUBBRUBBRUBBRUBBRUB :thumbsup

-stew-
11-07-2009, 01:21 AM
Yo, JA...

http://i130.photobucket.com/albums/p249/stewsquarenuts/cryharderfaggot.jpg

Fag.

SSScottSS
11-07-2009, 02:55 AM
www.southparkstudios.com


HUB-BRUBBRUBBRUBBRUBBRUB :thumbsup


That was the perfect video for me toaday!!!! :rolf

pOrk
11-07-2009, 08:33 AM
LOL.

I've raced at both blackhawk and road america, and I don't watch motorcycle racing :) I also prefer riding boots and A Stars in all Black :) Personal preference though.

Project FS
11-07-2009, 09:49 AM
1. Comb baseball player goatee and mustache
2. Spend 6- hours polishing gaudy chrome pieces. Be sure people can read the �Live to ride�ride to live� statement on gas tank lid.
3. Assure suspension can handle at least 560 pounds of rider
4. Pack cell phone and have tow service numbers programmed.
5. Look in mirror and perfect the �I�m a bad ass motherfucker� harley riding scowl.
6. Affix tassels from daughters bicycle to handle bars for added gay appearance.
7. Test flashers for when bike breaks down (99% probability)
8. Put on your wrist brace to help carpal tunnel from all of the unnecessary revving
9. Leather pants
10. Gloves
11. Wrap around sunglasses
12. Skull cap (German soldier type for the real badasses). Remember to think about the SAFETY aspect/argument of loud pipes as putting that potato chip on head. The real tough guys here will wear a bandana over their face (some with a skull) to look really scary----ooooh!
13. CAT work boots (new)
14. Leather vest with some �chapter� like: North chapter of pig fucking obese attention whore douche bags with fat ugly loud mouth wives.
15. HD t-shirt (of course). Because everyone needs to know what shop you paid $40 for a $5 hanes shirt at.
16. Remove baffles from pipes so EVERYONE can hear you going 18mph in 2nd gear at redline. Note: Most HD break down before hitting 2nd gear.
17. Starbucks gift card: This is usually your hangout--------------how tough.
18. Call friends with similar ridiculous motorcycle (WW2 outdated technology garbage) and pathetic store bought image (gay pirate from the Castro) attire. Have them ATTEMPT to meet you at the starbucks without breaking down or crashing due to being distracted from looking at themselves in their chrome.
19. Five packs of Marlboro reds to smoke while riding to look extra cool
20. Slam a 6 pack of Zima prior to ride.
21. Saddle bags attached to pick up and store broken parts that fall off bike as you ride/push (if you can call it riding without laughing) that hunk of shit down the road.

I amlost pissed my pants when I read #8. Got to go, getting ready to meet my friend for a ride who fits this description to a T. I have a bagger but am quite a bit more reserved than all of this. Doesn't bother me I think it is all funny. I see alot of this while out on the road and I am embarrased for my self when I have to see it firsthand. Don't forget
#22- lace up new WHITE tennis shoes for a ride

loud91rs
11-08-2009, 03:50 PM
I have had two sport bikes and the one making fun of sport bike riders doesn't bother me at all, I just laugh because I make fun of those people as well. As for the harley one, if you aren't like that just laugh because we all know you see them around!

Crawlin
11-09-2009, 08:16 AM
LOL.

I've raced at both blackhawk and road america, and I don't watch motorcycle racing :) I also prefer riding boots and A Stars in all Black :) Personal preference though.

:headbang

Although my boots are SIDI as I got them cheap before Corsa shut down

Since I ride a sportbike, and work at a Harley place, both of those lists are so funny. I can picture the sportbike squid rider that it's talking about. Yet I can also picture all the Milwaukee HOG Chapter guys that come into H-D asking what their discount is(even though they never get work done at House)

And that south park episode was fucking EPIC!!!

Al
11-09-2009, 07:35 PM
The Harley one does not apply to me.
I fail right from the start. I have not washed the bugs out of my fins in a year.

I want to hear the BMW version of this!

PureSound15
11-10-2009, 09:39 AM
The Harley one does not apply to me.
I fail right from the start. I have not washed the bugs out of my fins in a year.

I want to hear the BMW version of this!

1) Short-short khaki shorts
2) Knee high white socks
3) Velcro white tennis shoes that lookas though they've never been worn... ever
4) Rayban sunglasses
5) Marshmellow looking helmet with the wrap-around microphone to communicate with salt n pepper haired, prissy fat wife on the back who refuses to even touch you
6) Tiny Dancer playing on the radio
7) Look DOWN at every car that you pass... as this is the only choice because the bike is approximately 5 feet tall.


... it's a start?


http://www.globeriders.com/live!journal_pages/gaa07_live!

Crawlin
11-10-2009, 11:43 AM
that's pretty much right on Ryan, hahahah

pOrk
11-10-2009, 02:40 PM
1) Short-short khaki shorts
2) Knee high white socks
3) Velcro white tennis shoes that lookas though they've never been worn... ever
4) Rayban sunglasses
5) Marshmellow looking helmet with the wrap-around microphone to communicate with salt n pepper haired, prissy fat wife on the back who refuses to even touch you
6) Tiny Dancer playing on the radio
7) Look DOWN at every car that you pass... as this is the only choice because the bike is approximately 5 feet tall.

8) Spends more time playing with toy train set then most 8 year olds

-stew-
11-13-2009, 11:11 AM
Yo JA,

http://i414.photobucket.com/albums/pp224/kaeotix15/24dknth.jpg


Welcome to BCM. HTFU.

Exitspeed
11-13-2009, 11:26 AM
Yo, JA...

http://i130.photobucket.com/albums/p249/stewsquarenuts/cryharderfaggot.jpg

Fag.

Hahaha, that is so fuckin funny. That's what I was thinking. hahaha.


1) Short-short khaki shorts
2) Knee high white socks
3) Velcro white tennis shoes that lookas though they've never been worn... ever
4) Rayban sunglasses
5) Marshmellow looking helmet with the wrap-around microphone to communicate with salt n pepper haired, prissy fat wife on the back who refuses to even touch you
6) Tiny Dancer playing on the radio
7) Look DOWN at every car that you pass... as this is the only choice because the bike is approximately 5 feet tall.
8) Spends more time playing with toy train set then most 8 year olds
9) Dress up like you are going out on a desert expedition with your motorcycle, but you are really just going to Sendiks.

JaMichaels
11-13-2009, 10:46 PM
Where's the crying? Guess I don't see it..

GTSLOW
11-14-2009, 12:48 AM
LOL.

I've raced at both blackhawk and road america, and I don't watch motorcycle racing :) I also prefer riding boots and A Stars in all Black :) Personal preference though.

What your bicycle?? :wtf

pOrk
11-14-2009, 08:14 AM
What your bicycle?? :wtf

It's not like I've owned like 8 motorcycles since I was 18 or anything :rolf

-stew-
11-14-2009, 12:21 PM
Where's the crying? Guess I don't see it..


See post three...

wrath
11-14-2009, 12:54 PM
There is a guy in my 'hood that has a Toyota Tundra and some kind of blingin' Harley-Davidson failtail. The guy must be a complete retard because he buys the shittiest truck on the road and the shittiest bike on the road. Both of them are constantly laboring everywhere they go and both are obnoxiously loud. He always has to get on it to get the Toylet up the hill because all you hear is it downshifting, upshifting, repeat. The bike is ridiculous.

I'd much rather have an immature crotch rocketeer running around zipping through traffic than some 'tard on a Harley.


I've only had 4 stickers on my mud truck.
one was "loud pipes shorten lives" with a large tire rolling over a motorcycle.

http://brewcitymuscle.com/forum/showpost.php?p=428348&postcount=25

pOrk
11-14-2009, 01:03 PM
^ Sounds like that guy has it ass backwards, you're supposed to buy American Branded ( Mexican Made ) Chevy or Ford trucks and imported motorcycles. No dodge unless you want to do the tranny replacement dance every 60k miles

Irish
11-14-2009, 01:06 PM
...

JaMichaels
11-14-2009, 04:56 PM
See post three...

Still don't see it.