4eyedstang
09-19-2009, 09:06 AM
Baroque = Broken
Casual Living = Your neighbors have a refrigerator on their front lawn
Charming = Corners don’t line up. Sagging porch.
Country Living = Your street will never see a snow plow.
Cozy = Cramped
Diverse Wildlife = Raccoons will raid your garbage. Bats will roost in your attic. Coyotes will eat your dog. Bears will eat your children.
Urban Setting = Ghetto
Family-ready = Previous tenants left toys everywhere
Historic = Has ghosts
Interesting History = Has murderous ghosts
Laid-back Lifestyle = Retirement Community
Outdoor fire-pit = Previous owner burned the garage to the ground.
Private Drive = All your neighbors were eaten by redneck cannibals
Quaint = Outdated
Quiet neighbors = Cult compound
Scenic View = Adjacent Cemetery
Spacious = No windows
Starter Home = Cardboard box
Tree-lined = Welcome to the jungle
Unique Layout = Architect was unlicensed and possibly schizophrenic
Waterfront Property = Septic tank backs up in spring
Casual Living = Your neighbors have a refrigerator on their front lawn
Charming = Corners don’t line up. Sagging porch.
Country Living = Your street will never see a snow plow.
Cozy = Cramped
Diverse Wildlife = Raccoons will raid your garbage. Bats will roost in your attic. Coyotes will eat your dog. Bears will eat your children.
Urban Setting = Ghetto
Family-ready = Previous tenants left toys everywhere
Historic = Has ghosts
Interesting History = Has murderous ghosts
Laid-back Lifestyle = Retirement Community
Outdoor fire-pit = Previous owner burned the garage to the ground.
Private Drive = All your neighbors were eaten by redneck cannibals
Quaint = Outdated
Quiet neighbors = Cult compound
Scenic View = Adjacent Cemetery
Spacious = No windows
Starter Home = Cardboard box
Tree-lined = Welcome to the jungle
Unique Layout = Architect was unlicensed and possibly schizophrenic
Waterfront Property = Septic tank backs up in spring