Social Planning - Would you rather Friday??

[DirtyMax]

Help me by voting. Thanks!

[BoosTT]

lol. Is this poll needed?

[TheRX7Project]

Are you trying to prove a point?

[97z2801ss]

if theirs money involved Id rather have them tell you or if a headcount needed. if its no big deal then whocares if they show or not?

[DirtyMax]

Are you trying to prove a point?

Yup.

I shit you not... 3 times in the past 2 months, we've been invited to something. On every single occasion, we've already had plans that would make it impossible to attend so we gratefully declined. We've had to hear the riot act every single time. So I'm about to say screw it and just start telling people that we are coming and then just not show up because I'm getting the impression people nowadays would prefer it. Guess those are the 3 votes for Option 2, LOL. My wife and I aren't even that interesting of people, either... :goof

I was really pissed off when I made this poll but yes, I am trying to prove a point.

[wrath]

I hate no-shows. I hate CPT.

I wouldn't do it to anyone else. Unless it's an Act of God or something similar you know when you're not going to show up or if you're going to be late.

[Car Guy]

Define 'riot act'.....

[95 TA - The Beast]

Well, honestly, you have to consider the viewpoint of your friends/family that are inviting you. I mean, is it a matter of a life-change where you are no longer associating with people you once did? Is it a matter of just 'wanting to do your own thing' and being anti-social in general? Is it a matter of having 'different friends' that make longer-range plans than those that do things 'on the quick', thus the social agenda 'clashes' because of it?

We have quite a few friends on all sides of the equation. For one the guys wife refuses to do anything that isn't planned out at least a week in advance, primarily because she doesn't like feeling 'rushed' and is a control freak. In that situation everyone knows that and gives him a ton of shit about it, not because they are being mean, but because his wife is just being a freak.

In another case the couple is doing the more 'socially upscale' thing and only want to hang around a certain group of thier friends that are more 'upper crust'. Yeah right, and every time everyone else gets together with them they now act like snobs or are outright rude. But when you get in 'thier group', they seem like the lower-class trailer-trash of the bunch the way some of them treat them. Again, major imbalance and one day they will either a) become 'true snobs' and finally no longer associate with anyone else but that group, or b) come to thier senses and tell the others to f-off.

And for the last couple I'll mention it is nothing more than the schedule of one of them is constrained due to professional responsibilities, but they get shit for it and it is quite out of line considering the situation. In that case it almost seems like people become more jealous (including the spouse) that the whole situation is for the others benefit, when in reality that spouse will end up making 4-6x what they will when all is said and done and you would think there would be a level of consideration for the commitment made for that profession. In this case it is PERFECTLY acceptable for them to decline without undue prejudice.

Sometimes a certain group of friends just end up feeling 'left out' because of a new group of friends. And then again, people also grow and mature and sometimes no longer find it 'fun' to do some of the stuff thier friends still want to do. Maybe it is worthwhile to have a discussion in regards to just that if that is the situation at hand. If not, and it truely is just a matter of pre-made plans getting in the way of more ad-hoc activities, then if this group that does things on-the-quick might be 'due' a concession in that maybe a longer-term plan needs to be aborted for the other activity. Just be sure to make the other party aware that you made changes for them and being notified sooner would allow you to fit things like this into your schedule. If they blow it off, then you have your answer for the future. Consideration has to go both ways.

[TheRX7Project]

I have these two friends who will remain anonymous, that are notorious for ruining plans.

One guy is always late. Always. Hours late. Like he'll tell you he'll be there at 1 and show up at 5-6.

The other makes plans with you like a week in advance. Every day he calls to reaffirm the plans. He tells you "how amped he is that you guys are gonna (most recent time was go to the BCM show). " The day comes, or maybe the day before, and he calls. "Sorry man I can't do it... I gotta (something way less cool)."

Gay.

[DirtyMax]

Define 'riot act'.....

major guilt trip, harassing texts, silent treatment, and other general junior high behaviors...

When I put something together and people can't come and tell me they can't come, it ends there. Doesn't seem to be the case with some people. I don't expect them to drop prior commitments to come to my shin-dig. And in the recent cases, they've basically been birthday gatherings thrown together at the last minute.

We just make our plans a long time in advance and don't "rank" the opportunities. We bust our asses all week so we cherish our weekends. If something comes up on a given weekend, and we have nothing else going on, we book it. We don't wait to see if something better comes along, which ALOT of our friends seem to do, many of whom are the people I am taking issue with on this recent run of events. We're young, married, childless people who love to experience life and have several different interests. Our lives are planned out months in advance. We have to do it that way and it only seems to be getting more hectic as we go on.

I was just making sure I'm not out of line and the poll proves I'm still with the majority in this world.

Thanks for your participation and discussion... :thumbsup

[Cjburn]

My wife keeps an event planner because of these issues. Just about everything we do is planned out. I like to know what's going on in advance, but that's just me. I really don't like it when people call the day of, or the day before and expect you to be there. We try our best to get around to see our family and friends in Milwaukee, but there has to be time for us to do stuff around the house.

[Doc Brown]

I have these two friends who will remain anonymous, that are notorious for ruining plans.

One guy is always late. Always. Hours late. Like he'll tell you he'll be there at 1 and show up at 5-6.

The other makes plans with you like a week in advance. Every day he calls to reaffirm the plans. He tells you "how amped he is that you guys are gonna (most recent time was go to the BCM show). " The day comes, or maybe the day before, and he calls. "Sorry man I can't do it... I gotta (something way less cool)."

Gay.one of them is not me, is it?