Autozopne story from Jalopnik

[d0nut]

I saw this on Jalopnik and thought it was funny,sad and true all at the same time:

"So I got an event coming up at the local track...should be a fairly fun event and I want to take the truck out. Well....a few weeks ago, due to my own stupidity, I blew my hub seals on my rear end...and due to me catching the fucking flu...and other shit...I never got around to fixing them. So this is the week OF and I need the damn seals, right?

So I call up AutoZone:

"Thank you for calling AutoZone, how can I help you?"
"Yeah, I'm looking for axle seals of a ford 9" rear end..."
"Oooh. umm...hold on a second...." and he puts me on hold.

....15 minutes later...someone ELSE picks up...

"...umm thank you for calling AutoZone, who are you holding for?"
"I'm holding for someone to help me find some axle seals..."
"Oh.. ummm. Huh.. hold on a second." and HE puts me on hold.

...10 minutes in, I'm getting pissed and I decide that this is a battle of wills. Them waiting for me to hang up....me waiting for them to get tired of the phone beeping and to pick up.

...10 MORE minutes....and I can feel my will about to give in completely to anger. FUCK THIS! While STILL on hold, I jump in my daily driver and drive my ass up to the AutoZone I'm on hold with!

I get there about 10 minutes later...and there's 4 fuckers working...and like two people shopping...and one of them hits me up instantly:

"Welcome to AutoZone, how can I help you?"
...as I walk behind their counter to look for their phone...

"Yeah....do you have someone on hold right now?"
"Uh excuse me?"
...I point at the blinking, beeping phone...
"DO...YOU...HAVE...SOMEONE...ON...HOLD...RIGHT...NO W!?"
"Uhh...I guess so."
"You guess so?? Let me help you. You DO have someone on hold...ME! I've been on hold for 45 fucking minutes! What in the HELL is THAT all about?? Can you give me one good reason why you've had me on hold for almost a fucking hour??"
"Well...uhh..I mean....uhhh...I was waiting for him (he points) to pick up.."
"He DID pick up...and put me right the fuck back on hold!"

"Uuhh..err....ahh...ummm..."
"Don't give me any bullshit about how busy you are...there's no one fucking in here! If my fucking question was simply too difficult for you, TELL me."
"Well...what do you need sir?"
"What I needed was axle seals...but what I need NOW is to talk to YOUR fucking manager."
"Yes sir."...and scampers off to get El Jefe....
Manager: "Yes sir, what seems to be the problem?"

...I tell him, "....and I'm STILL on hold!" That's right...I still haven't hung up...

He looks at the phone....picks it up...and says, "Uhh Autzone, may I help you?"
I yell into MY phone, "IT'S ME FUCKER!!!" He jumps and hangs up.
"I'm hoping that isn't your policy here! That if you CAN'T answer the question, just put the person on hold until they hang up?"
"Uh no sir!"
"Well lets see if y'all CAN help me...now that I'm here."
He goes over to the computer...

I tell him, "I need axle seals for a 31 spline ford 9" rear end."
"What's it out of?"
"Hell...i don't know? Almost any 70s ford truck I'm sure."
"Well I need to know what it's out of."
"I do not know..."
"Well what's it in now?"
"That's not gonna help you."
"Sure it is"
"No...it won't. There's no way to search for the rear end?"
"No...so what's it in?"
"A 2001 CHEVY SILVERADO ok?? Does THAT help???"
"No."
"See?"

He connected me with someone at another AutoZone that actually WAS helpful...and I went over there to get the parts..."

[michelle]

That's pretty good.

[URLOZIN]

Autozone Sucks. I have had nothing but problems, and have walked out many times.

P. S. this was hialrious. I lol'ed

[d0nut]

"It's me FUCKER!" has to be the quote of the week.



Autozone Sucks. I have had nothing but problems, and have walked out many times.

P. S. this was hialrious. I lol'ed

[Car Guy]

No surprise there, cellular technology OWNED Autozone that time......:rolf :rolf :rolf

[Holeshot]

Just wait till O Reillys hits full force. They have no catalog racks for parts look up.

Oh and for the record I can look up parts at home

[95mustang302]

I've had that experience at the zone. luckily, the autozone near my house has people who actually know what their talking about (if you know who they are)

its gotten to the point that I'm in there so much that I just walk up to the computer and bring up what I need...

[88Nightmare]

sounds like a similar autozone experience a friend and I had.

My friend goes to autozone in need of an inner tie rod for a 1992 Pontiac Bonneville. He states this to the counter person.

"A 92 bonneville.... is it two door or four door?"

"when the hell have you ever heard of a two door bonneville?????"

"oh ok. is it for the left or right side?

**mumbles under his breath** "motherfucker..."...."They are both the same!!!!"

"oh sorry, let me go grab that part for you"

Guy comes back, sets a box on the counter and opens it. We find this box has an outer tie rod in it.

"Does that look like an inner or outer tie rod to you????"

"....uhhhh....."

"Go back and get me a god damn inner tie rod!!!"

[Voodoo Chick]

The Autozone in Hales Corners on Hwy 100 is awesome. They always go above and beyond to be helpful, and the one on the corner of 60th and Forest Home Ave is really good, too.

[URLOZIN]

Here's a recent autozone experience with me as well...

I went to Autozone twice in the same week and both times different people told me they have never heard of a fuel level sensor. Then I went to O'reilly's and Advanced Auto and they both knew exactly what I needed and found it for me. I hate Autozone. I've always had problems. I've never met an employee from there that knew what he was talking about(except one woman). I've even had employees tell me on a number of occasions that they did not have a product. I then proceeded to embarass them by walking to the shelf, picking it up and asking them "You don't have this product, so I'll go buy it somewhere else". The other day four employees were sitting outside smoking and none of them came in and helped me. I've walked out of that store many times. I even decided to wait it out once, because I was living in a city with only one auto parts store at the time, I waited over 25 minutes just to get some brake fluid, and they only had two other customers the whole time. I ended up just throwing the bottle over the counter and walking out.

[Yeehaw]

Just wait till O Reillys hits full force. They have no catalog racks for parts look up.

Oh and for the record I can look up parts at home

prolink ftw haha

its very nice having catalog and knowing a thing or two around the parts store

[Holeshot]

prolink ftw haha

its very nice having catalog and knowing a thing or two around the parts store

Yeah pro link Mitchell OD GMSI and Parts Pro SE FTMFW

[Yellow2k1vette]

The story is funny...but so true when dealing with non-stock parts.


One of my last Autozone visits was for a belt for my car. Underdrive pulley = shorter-than-stock belt. Make/model, useless.

Knew the part #, looked them up on the 'net just to verify the local store had them in stock.
Since they did, I drove there, tell clerk "Need a Gatorback belt, # 4060775". Clerk was like :wow "OMG you actually know the part #?"

I explained to him I kinda had to, or it would have easily been an hour-long adventure just like this story. :rolf

[LIZMO]

lol thats really funny yet sad. i would of been soo pissed like you were too.

you shoulda demanded free parts. well something else since they didn't have the parts you needed haha.

[Sprayaway Fox]

As a old AZ worker back in my haydays....Here could be the problem. Your supposed to answer the phone in less than 3 rings. As a customer if it rings more than 3 times it problably is busy or someones checking someone out.
People need to relize that THE PERSON DOES NOT KNOW YOUR CAR OR SPECIFICS! Ok he needed axle seals for a 9'' well which ones? He didnt even fuggin know, so how should the counterperson. Lets see here Big bearing 9'' ok well since every 8.03 HR worker doesnt know what that came out of why doesnt he just say that it might be out of a F150 around the late 70's?

Stories when I worked there:

I need a chevy 350 coil...What kind of vehicle is it for? Customer: There all the same!:wooo
I need a transmission filter for a midsize GM. What kind of vehicle is it? Customer: It doesnt matter all midsizes are the same!:wooo

I just put a new engine in and used your distributor and it pops and bangs and doesnt run rite its your fault Here the guy had the cam on a SBC 180 off!:wooo
I need a whole new air conditioning system....Do you just the compressor or what? No the WHOLE THING! Seriously man were AZ not a junk yard/restoration shop.
I guy wanted to get a trans rebuild kit. Here the trans he had in his car (which he just bought a year ago,chevelle) was a 5 speed and he thought it was a 4 speed!...Seriously this is no joke!:loser
Change oil and put trans oil in it instead of engine oil!:wooo
I need rear brakes for my car...Ok is it drums or disc? Customer: IDK is there a big difference?:wooo

If your going to work on your car at least know what the part of the car is from as in if its a chevelle with a 9'' make sure you can at least educated guess what year its from and be patient. If your a damn guy, at least know how to change your wiper blades also.
I have so many stories its not funny, I didnt claim to be a SUPERZONER but at least know what part your dealing with and what its from if you are doing something special.

[Sprayaway Fox]

Minus the phone call.......If that guy came in when I was working and acted like that I would of acted dumb too. Lets see here you give me a BB 9'' but even you dont know when they were produced or year you got it out of, so how is a counterperson going to know? Unless they have experience in something like that. I woulda got him one for a 79 F250 (since that is what I used on my chevelle)...Since he was a deek from the get go I woulda played dumb too. Be a prick?....Dont have it Sir. For some reason I led sales and had a really good return customer base though with this kind of attitude... go figure:rolf

[srt4eh]

I hate going to Autozone....especially the ones in western KY...holy crap.

My car has the AC removed and the pulley removed. I cannot use the Mopar AC Delete belt because of this...even if I could I have a small Underdrive Pulley installed. So...I usually have to take a piece of string and tie it tight around my PS pulley and the UDP and then take that in and ask for a belt that size. They go through the usual questions...what kind of car is it for. Well..its for my srt4....as they start typing in the computer...you won't find it in there. No - we have all makes and models. AHHHHH...I have to go through this again because I lost the belt number and the belt came off sometime last winter....lol.

[88Nightmare]

My trips to autozone are for buying car cleaning supplies only. When I want real parts, I go talk to guys who know what they are doing. The Napa in south milwaukee is always helpful. Most of those guys seem to have prior experience wrenching on cars and are able to offer tips if you want them. I go in and ask for part "x" for a 19xx blah blah blah. They say oh well if you are replacing that, since you have this apart you may want to consider buying this too. Granted its upselling and trying to make their store money, its still helpful for them to ask questions like that. Sometimes it brings other stuff to my attention so I dont have to make a second trip. Those guys dont just punch in numbers and grab parts off a shelf, they also have a good idea how the part works in relation to the rest of the vehicle.

Kinda like when I called autozone recently to inquire about a master cylinder bench bleeding kit. I get put on hold for about 7 minutes. They pick back up and ask what its for. Uhhhh.... bench bleeding a brake master cylinder. Then there is a long pause, and they suddenly tell me they dont have any. I'd guess they had no idea what I was talking about.

[TURTLE]

i love being the nice guy in the zone who actually helps these people and gets them to say...

"you know, you're actually a knowledgeable person working here, i'm so used to dealing with idiots who don't understand what i'm trying to say!"

lol... carry on

[TheRX7Project]

I actually got some real help getting my RX7 running from a guy at the Zone. He used to have one and called a friend of his to help me solve my problem. We got it running that night.

One time my dad needed a radiator hose for his engine swapped Mazda pickup. It had a 400 Chrysler big block in it. Yes, it was insane. Anyway, he made a template and went to the parts store. He told them he needed a radiator hose for a '83 Mazda pickup with a big block Chrysler engine lol... the guy just brought him in back to find a hose to match the template. That was at Whitlock though (remember them?)

[gottwins?]

I only go to those places for cleaning products since they never have anything I need. They don't even have the NGK plugs that are required for my Z.

The other day I went in to see if they had any ohm resistors to bypass a sensor and the guy had no idea what I was talking about. I explained that it was basically a method used to give the sensor a false reading so that the code in my ECU will go away....he told me it wasn't possible. :rolf

[BAD LS1]

I fucking hate autzone... they get the dumbest mother fuckers working there and there is always like 1 doing work with a line of 10 people. if i lived right next door to an autozone I would drive an hour away if thats where the closest Napa or advance was so i can get the parts im looking for which autozone seems to never stock too...

[Plum Crazy]

im a big fan of Bumper to Bumper myself. My buddy worked part time at the Zone, its the only time id go in there. He has a 70 challenger and an 06 mustang, really knows his shit. He doesnt work there anymore, but they did offer him a managers possition before he quit.

[CAMAROJV123]

omg thats funny. lol

[WhatsADSM]

I only go to those places for cleaning products since they never have anything I need. They don't even have the NGK plugs that are required for my Z.

The other day I went in to see if they had any ohm resistors to bypass a sensor and the guy had no idea what I was talking about. I explained that it was basically a method used to give the sensor a false reading so that the code in my ECU will go away....he told me it wasn't possible. :rolf

This is kind of ironic. You really asked for "ohm resistors" and thought it was funny he didn't know what you were talking about?


Otherwise in terms of Autozone I agree with much of what has been said here. In general the Zone is near the bottom of my list, if I have to get local parts Napa is my first stop.

[gottwins?]

This is kind of ironic. You really asked for "ohm resistors" and thought it was funny he didn't know what you were talking about?


No, if that was funny there would be an LOL or a :rolf after I said that he didn't know what it was. I knew it was a slim chance that they didin't have any but worth a try since radio shack didin't have the mega ohms i needed. It was funny when he told me that I could not bypass my sensor after asking me what is was for. I don't see the irony.

[Windsors 03 Cobra]

The irony is you went to an auto parts store when you needed electronic parts and your calling the guy making $8 trying to get by stupid ? Furthermore it does not sound like you know your amps from a hole in the ground regarding said electronic parts if you went looking for them at Autozone.

RE: The jalopnik (whatever that is?) story, if you wait on hold for 10 minutes your a schmuck, if you wait 20 minutes your an idiot and if you wait more than 20 minutews you need your head checked. Realy who waits that long to get price and availability for a car part ?
I use the zone for 50% of my parts (fel-pro, timken, goodyear, johnson controls, motorcrap/delco filters, oils) and nobody will beat their prices and or rewards program.
I use Napa (not a part available) for electrical parts and or other things I dont want to buy/chase to the zone for. Napa=10 miles, Zone=20 Miles.

And what car guy goes to the autoparts house not knowing exactly what they need or are after ? and what car guy cant give an app for most the parts we seek ? And what guy cant lend a guiding eye/ear/comment to the parts person on what they want need ? Oh, those all knowing chebby folks....:rolf

[gottwins?]

The irony is you went to an auto parts store when you needed electronic parts and your calling the guy making $8 trying to get by stupid ? Furthermore it does not sound like you know your amps from a hole in the ground regarding said electronic parts if you went looking for them at Autozone.


LMAO


No, if that was funny there would be an LOL or a :rolf after I said that he didn't know what it was. I knew it was a slim chance that they didin't have any but worth a try since radio shack didin't have the mega ohms i needed. It was funny when he told me that I could not bypass my sensor after asking me what is was for. I don't see the irony.

Your cool :thumbsup

AND the original post was about customer service since he specifically said that if he didin't know what it was to just tell him, not keep him on hold and put it aside until he hangs up <bitch move.

[WhatsADSM]

No, if that was funny there would be an LOL or a :rolf after I said that he didn't know what it was. I knew it was a slim chance that they didin't have any but worth a try since radio shack didin't have the mega ohms i needed. It was funny when he told me that I could not bypass my sensor after asking me what is was for. I don't see the irony.

I read your initial response (which included the :rolf) as being part of not knowing what "ohm resistors" were. I didn't realize your :rolf was just because he didn't know you could trick out some sensor readings with resistors (although just like Windsor I'm not suprised they didn't know that).

As for the irony, it was the fact that we were talking about how autozone doesn't know what they are talking about, and you went in asking for "ohm resistors". An "ohm resistor" makes no sense. All resistors have some resistance in ohms.

[gottwins?]

I read your initial response (which included the :rolf) as being part of not knowing what "ohm resistors" were. I didn't realize your :rolf was just because he didn't know you could trick out some sensor readings with resistors (although just like Windsor I'm not suprised they didn't know that).

As for the irony, it was the fact that we were talking about how autozone doesn't know what they are talking about, and you went in asking for "ohm resistors". An "ohm resistor" makes no sense. All resistors have some resistance in ohms.

It wasn't so much that he didin't know it could be done, its that he told me it CAN'T be done.

[Rocket Power]

Autozone is the only parts store I've been to that can look up a brake rotor, write down the number, walk 20 ft to get it and still give me the wrong part at least 50% of the time. I look up stuff before and compare the number before I leave when I go there now. I like going to the NAPA on state if the price is reasonable, they almost always have what I need when I go.

[Voodoo Chick]

Wow, what Autozones are you guys going to? The two stores I frequent have always been super friendly, courteous, and helpful.....and they always give me the parts I ask for, no screw ups......

[BAD LS1]

Wow, what Autozones are you guys going to? The two stores I frequent have always been super friendly, courteous, and helpful.....and they always give me the parts I ask for, no screw ups......

Thats cuz you are a girl:goof Tits and ass goes along ways these days:rolf

[-stew-]

http://i476.photobucket.com/albums/rr126/jervistetch1/Apathy.jpg

I walked into AZ, hand the old guy a serp bet that I folded and zip tied to the length I need.

"I need a belt this length, and this width. It's a K6."

He grabs it looks at at, "whats this for? I need to know what It came off of to start looking it up."

"There is no application for it in your computer, it's a custom accessory set up."

"Well I need to know what you started with."

-sigh- "OK, it's a '90 mustang"

Three drop down menus.... "GT or LX?"

"LX"

"LX 2.3 or LX 5.0"

"Neither. It's got a 351 Windsor in it."

-He gives me the stink eye-

"OK, let's pretend it's a five liter."

-two drop down menus-( I really think he wanted to ask if the car had a/c) "OK, it's a six rib belt. That's what I needed to know."

"That's why I told you it was a K6. And the belt I handed you has six ribs."

I again then got the stink eye. He went over and got me a belt that worked.


I was kinda an asshat, he was kinda an idot. Good times, good times. I've been on both sides of the counter. Had fun giving the customers help, and had fun fucking with the help at the parts store.

The best was prolly this kid that walked into Trak Auto, walks up to the counter..

"Whatcha need, man?"

I want some of them mufflers they put on Mustangs.

"Uh, what?"

Yeah, they put them on Mustangs and Camaros and shit. They hang down in the middle and they sound like "balp brop brahm brum blap". They sound bad ass. i think I seen them on trucks too."

We figgured out he was (possibly) talking about mufflers hanging off of headers. But this kid was serious as a heart attack. Or he was the worlds greatest actor. Good times, good times...

[Voodoo Chick]

Thats cuz you are a girl:goof Tits and ass goes along ways these days:rolf

Maybe so, but when I go in there, I'm not exactly looking glamorous.....

[subliminal1284]

You have to realize most of the people who work at autozones and advanced auto parts stores know little to nothing about cars. Autozone starting pay is like $7.00 an hour. They are a retail store just like any other and hire whoever they can get in there the cheapest, they dont care if their people are really knowledgeable about cars.

When I was working at advanced, besides me there was only maybe 2 other people that worked there that knew anything about cars. I tried to help the customers the best I could and would suggest customers not waste their money on things I knew were scams like Slick 50. Autozone does seem to be the worst when it comes to knowledgeable people though.

At a Pep Boys once I actually had the cashier try to tell me that my small block chevy had to run platinum plugs or it wouldnt run right. I told him he was full of shit.

[94greenbandit]

Autozone is the only parts store I've been to that can look up a brake rotor, write down the number, walk 20 ft to get it and still give me the wrong part at least 50% of the time. I look up stuff before and compare the number before I leave when I go there now. I like going to the NAPA on state if the price is reasonable, they almost always have what I need when I go.

I have had that same issue at Advanced Auto Parts. Walk in tell them all the info on the car and still get the wrong brake pads. I will agree that the Autozone on Hwy100 in Hales is good

[Yeehaw]

being a parts guy is not that easy either but knowing how to look stuff up goes a long way...i just wish people would realize i dont know them personally so i do not know of what kind of car is sitting at home in there garage and i cannot tell them why it wont start over the phone :rolf

[shoooo32]

I rock the Napa on 81st and greenfield for just about everything. Almost all the guys there are car guys and they take real pride in know their shit. I try to give them as much business as possible just for the fact that without them, I'd have to step into the zone....:punch:

[Rocket Power]

I will agree that the Autozone on Hwy100 in Hales is good
They are the ones always messing up my stuff:rolf

[TURTLE]

the thing that i've learned while working at the zone is that there are good parts guys and bad ones, just the same as any other chain or local parts hut.. just at a minimum wage slave shack, they're more common... :goof

call me while i'm working... i've helped tons of people with no clue what they were looking for when they walked in, to when they were walking out they had the right part, and all the other stuff they would have had to come back to get(including instructions on how to put the stoopid part in) :rolf

[Sprayaway Fox]

What happens is when your a decent AZ'r the phones will never stop ringing for you to answer and get questions on what you think the problem is.
You will get a guy eating his pizza on the phone thats watching the news asking you why his car is not running right, because he is to lazy to crawl his azz underneath it. If you are not going to take the question seriously, why should I?(this happend to me)

A lot of people dont even know if there car is front wheel drive or rear wheel nowadayz....sounds dumb but you wouldnt believe how many guys dont know but come in for parts.

Or the guy with a probe that didnt want to pay for a Ignition control module because it was 27.99....So he buys a new distributor cap 11.99, and a spark plug 1.99, some 10 gage wire 4.99, and a toggle switch 5.99. Then drills a whole in the new cap, puts the sparkplug in it, runs a 12V constant to a switch and supposedly its going to "fire right up":rolleyes:
I going to stop now, its bringing flashbacks:rolf:thumbsup

[TheRX7Project]

This is true. I have a friend who has an older Golf. It needs a new coil, plugs and wires... BAD. All of us have told him this umpteen times. I have witnessed his coil arcing to the firewall.

He RODE THE BUS to work for 2 weeks because he would rather ride the bus than fix the minor problem with his car. Finally his boss stepped in and did the plugs and wires. It still needs a coil though, so it doesn't start when it's humid or raining.

IDK what is wrong with people.

[Poncho]

Thats cuz you are a girl:goof Tits and ass goes along ways these days:rolf

there is the downside to getting treated like you are fucking brain dead. Which is true.

[Voodoo Chick]

Yeah, the getting treated like I'm a dumbass isn't cool, but at the 2 Autozones I go to, that doesn't happen.

[URLOZIN]

there is the downside to getting treated like you are fucking brain dead. Which is true.
They treat me that way too. My girlfriend went today To get a check engine light checked, The guy came out. mumbled something, said he'd be right back and 15 minutes later he still wasn't back. So she called me. I went down there and the people ignored me for 10 minutes, I walked out. Then I went down to advanced auto and was in an out in 5 minutes tops.