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TheRX7Project
02-07-2009, 07:41 AM
http://www.fmylife.com/


Today, my son came back from a party and told me he had sex for the first time. When I asked him to take a seat and tell me more about his experience, he said he couldn't sit because his ass hurts. FML


Today, a toddler's play ball rolled over to me in the park. I playfully pitched it to him as his parents watched from afar. The ball hit him in the face. FML
michelle
02-07-2009, 08:02 AM
That is great!
Mudd Runner
02-07-2009, 08:18 AM
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
VroomPshhTsi
02-07-2009, 01:24 PM
this made my day
VroomPshhTsi
02-07-2009, 03:13 PM
Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

:rolf
97z2801ss
02-07-2009, 03:48 PM
lmao
BigSnailBuick
02-07-2009, 06:06 PM
Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML :rolf:rolf
Yeehaw
02-07-2009, 10:51 PM
"Today, I asked my boyfriend to have sex. He told me he would rather play ps3. FML"

lmao
Korndogg
02-07-2009, 11:05 PM
Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML




bwhahahaa
johnny--2k
02-08-2009, 12:44 PM
Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML
badass88gt
02-08-2009, 12:47 PM
LOL

Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first. I'm a guy. FML


Today, I texted my boyfriend saying hi. His response, "I got your best friend pregnant". FML
BadAzzGTA89
02-08-2009, 02:19 PM
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying hi. His response, "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

Best quote ever!
sdb300zx
02-08-2009, 11:07 PM
HAHA that's great!!
johnny--2k
02-09-2009, 11:39 AM
Today, and for the last 8 months my upstairs neighbours have been making a tremendous noise. I finally decided to go up to complain: "The amount of noise you make is unbelievable ! It sounds like you're driving tractors up here!". The woman replies: "My husband is paraplegic..." FML
brotherbenn83
02-10-2009, 09:46 AM
Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML
WickedSix
02-10-2009, 02:58 PM
"Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML"

:rolf :rolf :rolf
VroomPshhTsi
02-25-2009, 04:52 PM
Today, I went to my first strip club for my friends birthday. I also found out what my girlfriend does for a living. FML

I could waste all day on this site...
That_Guy
02-25-2009, 05:06 PM
Today, I wake up, switch on TV and the first thing I see is the picture of a wanted rapist who looks just like me. I’m afraid to leave home. FML
johnny--2k
02-25-2009, 05:20 PM
my kind of mom!

Today, my mom decided to give me relationship advice. She told me the key to a happy/successful relationship was "letting your man explore ALL your orifices." FML