classified ads

[Yeehaw]

Actually Taken From Classified Ads In Newspapers:
> >>> > >
> >>> > > FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
> >>> > > 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG.
> >>> > > ----------------------------------
> >>> > > FREE PUPPIES:
> >>> > > 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL
> >>> > > 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG
> >>> > > -----------------------------
> >>> > > FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD,
> >>> > > PART STUPID DOG
> >>> > > ------------------------------
> >>> > > GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs.
> >>> > > NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
> >>> > > -------------------------------------
> >>> > > FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG.
> >>> > > LOOKS LIKE A RAT...
> >>> > > BEEN OUT AWHILE..
> >>> > > BETTER BE REWARD.
> >>> > > -----------------------------------
> >>> > > 1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer
> >>> > > ----------------------------
> >>> > > SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...
> >>> > > ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
> >>> > > -------------------------------
> >>> > > COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED...
> >>> > > ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.
> >>> > > -----------------------------------
> >>> > > NORDIC TRACK $300
> >>> > > HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY
> >>> > > -------------------------------------
> >>> > > HUMMERS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER -
> >>> > > "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
> >>> > > ----------------------------------------
> >>> > > GEORGIA PEACHES
> >>> > > CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.
> >>> > > ------------------------------------------
> >>> > > NICE PARACHUTE:
> >>> > > NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE
> >>> > > -------------------------------------------
> >>> > > TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR?
> >>> > > WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND
> >>> > > FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY:
> >>> > > $7 -- $9 PER HOUR.
> >>> > > -------------------------------------------
> >>> > > EXERCISE EQUIPMENT:
> >>> > > QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS - $175.
> >>> > > -------------------------------------------
> >>> > > JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
> >>> > > MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300.
> >>> > > ------------------------------------------
> >>> > > ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES
> >>> > > FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER
> >>> > > -------------------------------------------
> >>> > > OPEN HOUSE
> >>> > > BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON
> >>> > > FREE COFFEE & DONUTS
> >>> > > ---------------------------------------
> >>> > > (AND THE BEST ONE) FOR SALE BY OWNER
> >>> > > Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45
> >>> > > volumes. Excellent
> >>> > > condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer
> >>> > > needed. Got married
> >>> > > last weekend. Wife knows everything.

[mrz28M6]

lmfao that stuff is frickin hilarious!!

[Prince Valiant]

those are all pretty good...loved the "hateful little dog" one, lol.

[kornholio788]

NICE PARACHUTE:
> >>> > > NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE

I was dying at that one hahaha. I have no idea why I found it so funny lol.