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CruxGNZ
08-27-2003, 06:25 PM
This is not my kill story, just something I found and thought you guys would enjoy.


Camaro RS Vs. Audi S4 - Great Kill Story!!!
This was posted yesterday on the E21 Message Board. Enjoy it!!


Poor hapless kid in the new (to him) Camaro RS wants
to race...

He works at a suntan parlor 2 doors down from my store and has seen me fiddlin with my UrS4 out back for nigh on a year since he started work there. I can't imagine how he got this car w/payments and insurance as he's had a ton of tickets and totaled his last car (an Accord EX) by rear-ending an Explorer at a stop light.

Anyway he asks me if I wanna race and I tellim "I'm a road racer, not a drag racer... my car isn't set up for straight line." He was smart enough to say "I won't race you on the road course but I'll race in a straight line with you from a 30-35mph rolling start." I ask him if want's to put any money on it as "jus for grins in a straight line doesn't much suit me." He says "I can't afford to race for money" but then three of his friends say they'll run to the ATM and come up with
$500 that says he'll take me to 120mph. I agreed and told em to go get the money and meet me at "X" spot at 7pm tonight... a little rural road 20 minutes northeast of town.

Now I've got the guilts. They just returned with the money and showed me... all 20's, ATM fodder. They're all stoked and I feel awful. Hell, I like this kid...he works next door and he aint got a friggin clue what he's up against. His car is stock, 3 years old with an auto tranny and Road Hugger 245/50/16 well-used tires. I'm nigh on 400HP and running 26psi of boost and we're racing at 6,300 ft elevation. He's 25-26 years old, I'm 51. I'll kill him or dally with him and
beat him by as much or little as I choose... easily... fretfully
easily... no contest! He's a good kid and he'll take it in stride,
but I don't wanna alienate him. His friends worry me since they're the ones gonna be out a metric butt-ton of money... maybe their rent money or car payments. I don't want my car keyed or vandalized as a result and I don't want to embarrass him in front of them.

But I agreed. I can back out or I can race. I'm thinking, race him, beat him, then tell them to keep the money and be more careful challenging what they know not. I could easily mop the floor with him but I feel guilty about how this little banter has gotten outta hand.
What's yer vote? What would you do?

Continued on next post...

CruxGNZ
08-27-2003, 06:26 PM
2nd part:

Results from last night's Camaro RS vs UrS4 race(if
you can call it that)...

Bigger 'n Dallas these guys were at the designated place even before I was and I was on time. They were all cocky, boisterous and bold... hootin & hollerin and making all kinda claims about how this was gonna end up. Stuff like "painting your calipers red and writing Porsche on them ain't gonna save ya tonight." They still think I painted my stock calipers red and wrote Porsche on them, then drilled holes in my front/rear rotors. The guy who owns the Camaro and works
next door to me was obviously nervous. And while he didn't have an equity role in this, I think he was scared to death of letting down his friends. He wasn't involved in any of the jeering or impudence.

They asked to look one more time under my hood to make sure I hadn't added anything (Like what could I bolt on in 3 hours?). Then started in again with "Looks like a motor, only smaller" and "My Toyota has a bigger motor than that." Then they started in with "So... ya wanna jus give us the $500 and save yourself the embarrassment?" I told em "No... I want you to take it from me."

So we lined up... The driver pulled up and the 3 friends asked him to drive them to a point a mile or so down the road. I asked what they were doing and they replied "We're not gonna ride with him but we want to see him near the finish line. So in a fit of cockiness I asked if they wanted to ride with me? They guffawed and laughed and said "We don't wanna slow ya down or give you an excuse to not pay."
I told em they shouldn't worry as they know where I work. So they asked if "I was sure?" I said, damn betcha... hop in!

We agree to a rolling start at around 45mph... a good spot for me where I'm just coming into around 16psi of boost. The road we're on is a to-the-horizon road with unlimited visibility and no entrances/exits for 15 or so miles... just ranch/range land. Inside thermometer is showing 78 degrees out... perfect for me. So the kids climb in and I make em buckle up (I have a plan for later) and we start rolling.

Continued on next post...

CruxGNZ
08-27-2003, 06:27 PM
When we got to around 40-42 the Camaro trounces it. I go to about 60% throttle. The kid beside starts to yell "He's gonna kill ya!" At this point the RS is about 1.5 carlengths ahead. At that point I floor it to 7100rpms and hit 26psi of boost, go for third and my passengers don't know whether to [Oops!] or go blind. I pass the RS in about half a second. At 120mph (The agreed upon finish speed) the RS is by their count, 10-12 carlengths behind me. I keep going. I shift into 5th and still have the throttle floored. The boys are squirming a little and looking at me a little like WTF ya doin?" I tellem we're
goin for a little longer ride than Craig (The kid driving the Camaro who is now completely out of sight. I tellem to let me know when they've had enough. The first one says "Thats enough" right then, on the spot. I say "Nope... gotta be unanimous." We're near 145mph now and the 2nd one says "Ok, ok thats enough." I ask the remaining one
sitting beside me how he feels as he's looking around for something to hold on to. He says nothing for about 10 seconds then as the speedo goes about 10mph past it's final calibration at 170mph he says
ok ok, PLEASE stop."

So I did... but not just any stop... I wanted to show em how some homemade red calipers with Porsche painted on them can stop. I stood on it for ALL they were worth. If these guys hadn't been buckled in they'd have found themselves about 400 ft ahead of where the car came to a complete stop. Then I did a slow u-turn and headed back to where
Craig was... 4 or so miles back. Asked em if they'd like to pay now or see if we can hit 200mph (I was
bluffing)? Felt a hand on my shoulder and looked down and saw a neat stack of consecutively numbered 20's. Nary a word was spoken till we got back to Craig who didn't have a clue what was going on. Then the tide turned... now all of a sudden they can't contain their excitement... they're bold and cocky again exclaiming they went over 170mph!! and "It was great!!"

So we gabbed for awhile then I asked if I could treat em to pizza and beer and they declined as they had girlfriends who would be wondering/worrying about them (Rightly so). So I pulled their money out, peeled 2 twenties from the pile and told em "Here... I dont want this... I had fun... thanks but I'm keeping $40 for you buying me dinner, wear/tear & gas. Then as I'm driving off one says I have a friend with a VR4 that will race you. I asked him if he would personally cover his friend's bet if we were to do that?
He thought about it a second then said "Ummm...no."

I said g'nite guys.

Nice kids... paid the bet and never uttered a syllable of excuse. A heaping helping of crow, served warm, is a powerful teacher.

Pretty sad... the craziness of it all."

!M!

Milw96Cobra
08-27-2003, 06:33 PM
:party:

jbiscuit
08-28-2003, 10:12 AM
You know I think I read this same kill story but with 2 different cars in the story line.....its still cool to read though:3gears: :banana

GRNDNL
08-28-2003, 11:51 AM
He forgot the last sentence, "Then I woke up and my bed was all wet...again" Think he has "Audi Race Team" decals down the side of his car?

jbiscuit
08-28-2003, 12:06 PM
I don't know man, those Audi when built can produce a lot of power. I used to have a vid of an S4 whooping @ss on a new STi. The Audi puts down like 430awhp (all wheel drive horsepower) which is insane. It beats the STi by like 7 car lengths and the S4 has 3 people including the driver in the car! I will see if I can find it