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GRAMPS SS
02-14-2007, 12:53 PM
1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those
little
> bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
>

>
> 2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a
peeing
> section in a swimming pool? (My sentiments exactly)
>
>
> 3. OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and
the
> Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the
> Tennessee Titans?
>
>
>
> 4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that
one
> enjoys it?
>
>
> 5. There are three religious truths:
> a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
> b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the
Christian
> faith.
> c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at
Hooters.

>
> 6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from
> Holland
> called Holes?
>
>
>
> 7. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
>

>
> 8. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
>
>
> 9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just
stale
> bread to begin with?
>
>
> 10. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a
person who
> drives a racecar is not called a racist?
>
>
> 11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
>
>
> 12 If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it
follow
> that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys
deranged,
> models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
>
>
> 13. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
>
>
> 14. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
>
>
> 15. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald
men?
>
>
> 16. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole
lot
> more
> as they get older; then it dawned on me .....they're cramming for
their
> final exam.
>
>
>
> 17. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little
spoons
> and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? toothpicks?
>
>
> 18. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?
What
> are
> we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their
pictures
> on
> the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they
deliver the
> mail?
>
>
> 19 If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly
are
> the
> others here for?
>
>
> 20. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
>

>
> 21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't
zigzag?
>

>
> 22. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
>
>
>
> 23. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
>
>
>
> As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the
two
> words "The" and "IRS" together it spells
> "THEIRS"?
>
>

PureSound15
02-14-2007, 12:57 PM
1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those
little
> bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE


:rolf :rolf Thats actually how the company started! The owner was a marketing exec who wanted to prove that he could sell anything to anyone, even bottled water.

Good stuff :thumbsup

PureSound15
02-14-2007, 01:04 PM
Double post

wikked
02-14-2007, 02:34 PM
*ahem* allow me :D



1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those
little
> bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
>
Already answered by Ryan.
>
> 2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a
peeing
> section in a swimming pool? (My sentiments exactly)
Peeing is not a filthy addictive habit that takes away hard earned money from your check
>
>
> 3. OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and
the
> Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the
> Tennessee Titans?
>
Tites (tights).
>
> 4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that
one
> enjoys it?
>
No, it means there's 1 person who does not get it at all.
>
> 5. There are three religious truths:
> c. fill in any religion here do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at
Hooters.

>
> 6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from
> Holland
> called Holes?
>
Because it's not called "hole-land"
>
> 7. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
>
Yes
>
> 8. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
>
Pigs oink, bears grunt.
>
> 9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just
stale
> bread to begin with?
>
There is flavoring n' junk on them that would get all skunky if not sealed.
>
> 11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
>
For the same reason 21 isn't pronounced twoty one.
>
>
> 13. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
>
no
>
> 14. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
>
yes
>
>
> 15. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald
men?
>
The color it was before going bald.
>
>
> 18. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?
What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their
pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they
deliver the mail?
>
Because it's a public place that alot of people frequent.
Putting them on a stamp would equate them to hero status.
I'd love to see the reaction to putting a baby-raping cannibal on a stamp.
>
>
> 19 If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly
are
> the
> others here for?
>
To help others help others.
>
>
> 20. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
>
Bullshit.
>
>
> 22. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
>
If she was drinking it at the time, yes.
>
>
> 23. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
>
H = Hemerrhoid.
>
>
> As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the
two
> words "The" and "IRS" together it spells
> "THEIRS"?
>
Most people get a refund.
>
>
>

:goof
:durr

Flicktitty
02-14-2007, 09:40 PM
/\ Always have to ruin things eh? lol

hrsp
02-14-2007, 10:48 PM
he is the ONE!!!!!! he once told me that there would be clouds...and guess freaking what?????? there were clouds....thats proofin tha pudding....

88Nightmare
02-14-2007, 10:53 PM
wikked put wayyyy to much thought into that.

hrsp
02-14-2007, 11:03 PM
i got one...

why is Mike afraid of the heavy chevy? please someone tell me?

88Nightmare
02-14-2007, 11:06 PM
you whore, I own a heavy chevy, with a lighter motor and the same amount of horsepower :D

hrsp
02-14-2007, 11:08 PM
FUKKKKKK check other post..just asked you that question...lol

but i got torque and mods...hehe

88Nightmare
02-14-2007, 11:09 PM
lets keep the shit talkin in the snowfort thread

hrsp
02-14-2007, 11:12 PM
k bye..... back to dumb questions....

why havent they come up with something better than salt to de ice our roads that wont eat away at our cars and trucks????????

88Nightmare
02-14-2007, 11:15 PM
there is stuff, but its quite expensive. They cant afford that on the current taxes because we are still paying off miller park :D

hrsp
02-14-2007, 11:16 PM
YIPEEEEE for the fukking brewers and leaky ass miller park :(

whats this called?

88Nightmare
02-14-2007, 11:20 PM
well I dont know if calcium chloride corrodes metal, but it IS more expensive fo sho. What about that stuff they de-ice planes with? :D

wikked
02-15-2007, 10:00 AM
well I dont know if calcium chloride corrodes metal, but it IS more expensive fo sho. What about that stuff they de-ice planes with? :D

Calcium Chloride can indeed corrode metal... but it is incredibly useful because of it's ability to absorb moisture.

If you fill a cup with it and put it in the basement, it will turn to a sludge within days.

It's great for melting ice of course, because it also gives off heat when melted, which is why it's the best for below zero temps, unlike rock salt, which is useless below like -15º.
I've never personally seen it, but alot of new roads are coated with it while the concrete cures to keep the moisture out.

Home Depot sells a product called Damp-Rid® that is just Calcium Chloride in a carton.
It absorbs odors nicely too, which is why it's popular for the damp musty basement crowd.

Why do I know all this? :goof

88Nightmare
02-15-2007, 10:09 AM
what about that crap they de-ice planes with???