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Flicktitty
02-08-2007, 11:54 PM
1. Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress?

2. If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth?

3. Why cant woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?

4. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say
"hi, my names Bob. Im an alcoholic"?

5. If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a Bullshit?

6. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

7. Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?

8. Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries
have a use by date?

9. Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a
horrible crisp no one would eat?

10. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think ill squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

11. What do people in China call their good plates?

12. If the professor on Gilligans Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why cant he fix a hole in a boat?

13. Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto remains on four? Theyre both dogs.

14. What do you call male ballerinas?

15. Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream?

16. If Wile E coyote has enough money to by all that Acme crap why doesnt he buy his dinner?

17. Why is a person who handles money called a broker?

18. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

19. If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?

20. If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong?

21. Why is it that when someone tells you that theres billions of stars in the universe,
you believe them. But if they tell you theres wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?

22. Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass?

23. Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

wikked
02-09-2007, 12:10 PM
I believe I can answer some of these... *ahem*



3. Why cant woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?
Because women are simple creatures designed to clean the house, cook food, and provide sexual pleasure.

4. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say
"hi, my names Bob. Im an alcoholic"?
Because you're still anonymous to the outside world, it doesn't matter if you identify yourself to a bunch of lushes.

7. Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?
Because the bulb would explode from the extreme cold, and the filament heating up once you open the door.
You need a pricey quartz glass bulb for this purpose.

9. Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?
Because you put other things in the toaster besides bread.

10. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think ill squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
Probably the first guy to suck on a tittay.

11. What do people in China call their good plates?
United Statesware.

12. If the professor on Gilligans Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why cant he fix a hole in a boat?
There wasn't any fiberglass laying around, nor anything to cement it to the boat.

14. What do you call male ballerinas?
Dancers.

16. If Wile E coyote has enough money to by all that Acme crap why doesnt he buy his dinner?
They don't serve coyote's in restraunts.

17. Why is a person who handles money called a broker?
Because that's what you are if you pick a bad one.

18. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
The means by which the presence, quality, or genuineness of anything is determined; a means of trial.

19. If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?
The soft succulent marrow of dead babies?

20. If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong?
Who cares, sounds like paradise to me.

21. Why is it that when someone tells you that theres billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you theres wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?
Because you can -test- that theory.

23. Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?
He doesn't want to smell your stank ass Crab cake & Dorito breath.




:goof

supra213
02-09-2007, 02:07 PM
24. Why is it that if you talk to God, you're spiritual.... but if you God talks to you, you're a schizophrenic.

RanJer
02-09-2007, 07:23 PM
25. Why do you park in a driveway , and drive in a parkway?

hrsp
02-09-2007, 11:08 PM
i.m confused.....help me

hrsp
02-09-2007, 11:09 PM
why do they make cars in the usa that can go 200mph when the fastest you can drive is 65?

wikked
02-10-2007, 10:46 AM
why do they make cars in the usa that can go 200mph when the fastest you can drive is 65?

Track use :)

hrsp
02-10-2007, 08:08 PM
what car in stock form get to 200mph in the 1/4???????

wikked
02-10-2007, 08:51 PM
fine, Autobahn :P

hrsp
02-10-2007, 08:58 PM
fine, Autobahn :P

we dont have one here in USA....

now anwer the fukking question before i get MAD

hrsp
02-10-2007, 08:59 PM
why sell a single cheesburger for 95cents and a double for 1.00? thats saying there beef patty is worth 5 cents...???

wikked
02-10-2007, 09:49 PM
simmah down nahhh!
fine... deserted freeway at 4am :)

and, stuff is cheaper in bulk, including cheeseburgers.

hrsp
02-10-2007, 11:47 PM
simmah down nahhh!
fine... deserted freeway at 4am :)

and, stuff is cheaper in bulk, including cheeseburgers.


:chair: :chair: NO ITS ILLEGAl to go that faST ANYWHERE!!! I WIN!!@!!:thumbsup :wow :durr :headbang :crying :thumbsup :stare :banana1: :banana1: :banana1: :banana1: :banana1: :banana1: :shades :( :chair: :devil :mad: :thumbsup :rolf :rolf :rolf :rolf SORRY I GO NOW