Teufelhunden
11-16-2005, 01:56 PM
Probably a repost or you've seen it somewhere else already... :rolf :rolf :rolf
Random Chuck Norris Fact Generator (http://www.4q.cc/chuck/)
Chuck Norris Top 30 Facts (http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty )
Random Vin Diesel Fact Generator (http://www.4q.cc/vin/)
-Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
-Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
-Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
-Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
-Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
-Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't **** with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
-Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
-Chuck Norris won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living **** out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited.
-Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
-To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
-Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
-Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
-The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
-Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
-When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
-If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
-Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
-Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".
-Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
-When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
-Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
-When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
-After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".
-Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
-Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
-Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the **** out of little kids.
-One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.
-If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
-Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
-The "Mythbusters" once tested to see if Chuck Norris' beard was actaully indestructable. The only thing busted that day were the mythbuster's heads after repeated roundhouse kicks.
-The original ending, as suggested by Chuck Norris to George Lucas, to Return of the Jedi consisted of the Rebel Alliance finding Chuck Norris on the moon of Endor. The Rebel Alliance realized the power they had in front of them, and begged Chuck to help them defeat the Empire's Death Star. Chuck then jumped into space and roundhouse kicked the Death Star, which exploded in a fiery bang. In the last scenes, Leia left Han for Chuck, Chewbacca became Chuck's life-debt servant, and Luke decided to drop Jedi training and study under Chuck. The ending was never made because it was too awesome for George Lucas to comprehend.
-There are two things on Earth visible from space; The Great Wall of China, and Chuck Norris's testicles.
-Chuck Norris likes his girls like he likes his whiskey - 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
-Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure
Random Chuck Norris Fact Generator (http://www.4q.cc/chuck/)
Chuck Norris Top 30 Facts (http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty )
Random Vin Diesel Fact Generator (http://www.4q.cc/vin/)
-Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
-Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
-Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
-Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
-Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
-Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't **** with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
-Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
-Chuck Norris won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living **** out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited.
-Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
-To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
-Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
-Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
-The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
-Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
-When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
-If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
-Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
-Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".
-Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
-When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
-Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
-When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
-After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".
-Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
-Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
-Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the **** out of little kids.
-One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.
-If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
-Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
-The "Mythbusters" once tested to see if Chuck Norris' beard was actaully indestructable. The only thing busted that day were the mythbuster's heads after repeated roundhouse kicks.
-The original ending, as suggested by Chuck Norris to George Lucas, to Return of the Jedi consisted of the Rebel Alliance finding Chuck Norris on the moon of Endor. The Rebel Alliance realized the power they had in front of them, and begged Chuck to help them defeat the Empire's Death Star. Chuck then jumped into space and roundhouse kicked the Death Star, which exploded in a fiery bang. In the last scenes, Leia left Han for Chuck, Chewbacca became Chuck's life-debt servant, and Luke decided to drop Jedi training and study under Chuck. The ending was never made because it was too awesome for George Lucas to comprehend.
-There are two things on Earth visible from space; The Great Wall of China, and Chuck Norris's testicles.
-Chuck Norris likes his girls like he likes his whiskey - 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
-Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure